Saturday, December 29, 2007

How in the world.....

I just don't know how this is done.... I'm sure someone could explain how they do it but still I would say that they sure have talent.

Funny Signs








Mr. O

Funniest Commercials of 2007

Recently the TV Funniest Commercials of 2007 aired but alas I missed.... THANK GOODNESS FOR You Tube!

Top 10

#1 Cool Squirrel Fart
#2 Hydro
#3 Thong and Beer
#4 Hitchhiker with Ax
#5 Budlight The Slap
#6 Litter Pinball
#7 FedEx Bad Staff
#8 Nationwide K-Fed
#9 Hearing Foundation
#10 Knorr F*&%$ Food

I think that these commercials are extremely funny.... However I think that the Hitchhiker with Ax commercial should have been #1.

Of course there is a sure fire way to make me laugh... a large group of singing animals which is found in this Jeep Commerecial

Anyhoo.... I am sure that in 2008 we'll have many reasons to laugh during commercial breaks.

Mr. O

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

ALL IS LOST!!!

I thought that the world was over when THE DEVIL Nancy Grace had twins.... but as I found out today it gets worse!!!

The line of white trailer trash continues with Jamie-Lynn Spears, Britney's 16-Year old sister. I don't know what's funnier the fact that she's just like her nasty white trash sister or that her mom was writting a book about parenting.... Just say no to white trash!

Well at least Britney's kids will have company in foster care when Jamie-Lynn's kids get taken away from her.

Mr. O

Now you know the ABCs!

Who knew that the ABCs had more use that just forming words.... *points* YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!

Mr. O

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Moo Cow

Don't chew gum like a cow it's not attractive!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Smooch

I kiss these lips

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Just leave me alone!

Listen you perky bitch nobody likes you... DON'T TALK TO US OR WE MIGHT PUKE!!!

*end rant*

Mr. O

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Merry non- denominational holiday

Holiday cheer at work! Woohoo...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Christmas Kitty

The little woman brought a tree skirt home the other day and the cats have claimed it for their new bed... Fluffy loves to sleep under there - ISN'T SHE CUTE!!!!

Mr. O

Zzzzzz...

Don't you love it when you wake up just before your alarm... You have enough time to sleep more but you can't fall back to sleep. Sigh

Mr. O

I love carpet!

We decided this weekend that we should clean the carpet in preparation for putting up the Christmas tree. We head over to the grocery store and come home with a Rug Doctor. Let me tell you these things are wonderful.... watching the spots disappear, looking how dirty the water is when you dump it out, and the smell... OH THE WONDERFUL SMELL OF A HOUSE WITH CLEAN CARPETS!

Mr. O

Ps. I love carpet *grins*

Monday, November 26, 2007

HO HO HO!!!

The little woman and I spent Sunday putting the Christmas decorations in the yard and we also put up the tree. It's all sooooooo cute! *sings* It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS!!!!

Now only time will tell what the kitten and the puppy think about the tree. I guess the puppy has had one Christmas but he was only a few months old. I will be satisfied if I wake up everyday and the tree is still upright.

Mr. O

Friday, November 23, 2007

Black Friday

You may save $10 on your iPod but is shopping at 4am with thousands of other people really worth it?!? Just say no to shopping the day after thanksgiving!!!

Mr. O

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Goodness!

Nom Nom Nom!!! Just dishing up a plate of delicious thanksgiving goodies at the in laws house. Sooooooooo tasty!

Mr. O

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Mmmmmm

Slurp!!!

Mr. O

Get a life!

I work at a credit card company and I realize more and more everyday that people have to much time on their hands. "My rewards are wrong... I calculated them myself and you stole three cents from me! YOU DIRTY LIARS!!!" GET A FUCKING DAMN LIFE!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Come and get me winter!

This morning the little woman and I finished up the yard work and now we are ready for snow... Boo for snow! Now

Monday, November 19, 2007

Gobble Gobble


Nothing says happy holidays like a bikini turkey

Friday, November 16, 2007

Awwwwww

Woof!!!

Mr. O

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Sunset behind the Oquirrhs

I took a picture of this beautiful sunset as I was driving home from the pet store.... How pretty!

Mr. O

I thought I saw a puddy tat

Awwwwwwww how cute my kitties are!

My very first mobile post!

Weeeee... Phone bloging

Monday, October 8, 2007

Don't You Love Dogs

Doggy Creed

If I like it, it's mine...
If I can take it from you, it's mine..
If it is mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way...
If toys are out, they are mine..
If it is in my mouth, it is mine...
If I had it a little while, it is mine...
If it looks or smells like mine..IT IS MINE....
In fact-----anything I see is MINE!

For our little Pug I would also add, "Pull my finger and you know it's mine."

Mr. O

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Clone a Mountain Man

Well the little woman's birthday is coming up this month so I have been thinking of what to get her. She has said for months that she wants ram for her computer... WHAT GIRL DOESN'T NEED MORE RAM!!! So I decided I would get some for her, but I also wanted to get something personal. Family, friends, and my wife have known me to be creative so I didn't want to let them down.Hmmmmmmmmm what to get her...... I know if her computer is getting ram maybe she needs a little ram too o.0

I settled on a Clone A Willy which is something we had joked about for a long time. So I got on Amazon and placed an order....

Clone a Willy:$24

Shipping:$5

Accidentally having it shipped to your old address: PRICELESS

I check on the UPS tracking number and it said delivered to the rear door, well it wasn't there. Go back to Amazon and see that it was delivered to the wrong place. Luckily the strange old man that bought our old house hadn't brought the package in. We made a trip over to the old neighbours house who had rescued the package for us.

Saturday we made the mold and poured the rubber to form the clone.... After 24 hours we break the mold and whip it out. It's pretty much an exact clone of the Mountain Man. Happy Birthday to you little woman!

Mr. O

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Love Thy Neighbour

I wish my neighbours would drop dead love my neighbours. The UGLY nice little boy next door likes to climb on top of their shed so he can see into our yard. He pulls branches off the tree, and shingles off the shed roof thinkinbg it is fun to toss them into our yard.

OH and he also likes to scream hey doggie doggie at our dogs, which makes them bark uncontroably. I used to care about the dogs barking but now I don't..... I mean who wouldn't bark at a UGLY little boy that is almost hanging in our yard.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Mr. O

Monday, September 17, 2007

Cheesy Anniversary

My wife came home from work today and presented me with a present for our 2nd Anniversary, and boy is it tasty. I told here a few weeks ago about a guy at work
who had gone to a gourmet cheese counter and brought some treats to work. After talking with the nice lady at the counter she brought home 7 varieties of cheeses (which I couldn't name for you unless I went and pulled them out of the fridge). We cut little bits off all of them and had a taste test, and boy were they good......Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. They all tasted so different and we thought of so many things they would be good with. *salivates*

She could have bought me clothes or something but this gift was creative
and personal. They do say the way to a man's heart is through his
stomach".

CHEESE PARTY AT MY HOUSE!!!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Phallic Salad

When I come home in the morning I try to be a quite as I can so i don't wake up the little woman. You know I work nights and she works days.... So I head out to the garden in the back yard. In our yard there is a large garden with nice fencing, a curb around it, and automatic sprinklers. We probably wouldn't have done this but it was nice to move into a house with a nice garden.

We started out with a few things in the garden to test out what we will plant in the future. We have a few variety of tomatoes, green peppers, a pumpkin (HUGE and TAKING OVER THE WHOLE GARDEN), watermelon, and the Freudian veggie of phallus.... Well mmmmm lets just say we have a cucumber plant that grows cucumbers so big it would make a porn star blush. I'm not exaggerating but they are
FREAKING HUGE!!!

From the porno garden of mystery,

Mr. O

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

What a wonderful day!

Out in the hot blistering heat mowing the lawn, which is so long I need to mow it twice to get it all. With only a couple more passes with the mower I will finish the lawn.... *putt putt whirrr spit spit..... bleh* Now the lawn mower is dead and out of gas. SHIT SUPER I was almost done.

Isn't yard work damn annoying SUPER FUN!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Soup: Rainbow Brite

All I can say is.... Joel McHale as SHERA PRINCESS of POWER!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

No Room In The Inn

I'm on my break at work at 1:30 am (I work 3rd shift) just relaxing watching the news in the lobby and my phone vibrates..... Ooooooooh HOT!!! Well it didn't turn out to be that hot. It was my Mom

My mom and here friend are driving 14 hours to come a spend a week visiting the little woman and I. The plans were to drive part way and stay in a hotel, and then drive the rest of the way the next day. Well apparently they couldn't find a hotel where they had planned on stopping. They pulled out the phone book and called
a bunch of places and it was like they couldn't find a hotel in the whole state! So they said they would snooze at a rest stop and just drive the rest of the way.....
SHIT SUPER!!!

The plan was they would be here at noon and now they said they will be here when I get off work at 6:30am.... Well there goes my extra cleaning time! So I ducked out of work so i could come home an frantically clean and tidy the house. The poor little woman will try and help but she couldn't sleep and she took a sleeping pill.

I'm excited to see my mom but WHY OH WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO COME EARLY!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Awwwww what a nice present!

My wife showed me this video a while back and I always joked with her that I would do it... Well lets just say I got her a present this weekend. I wrapped a box in pretty paper (happened to be Christmas paper) and I went into the bedroom and positioned myself so it was on top of me with my junk inside. I was covered up so all she could see when she came in was the box. We laughed and laughed..... Wasn't meant to be sexy but funny! Hmmmmmmm what next, a whipped cream bikini maybe? LOL

Monday, July 9, 2007

Ahhhhhhh It's an Alien

A TA in my anatomy lab thought it would be fun to relate this part of the body to an alien.... *Squeezes it to make it talk* The alein says "Take me to your leader!"

Click here and see Mr. Alien


Mr. O

Friday, July 6, 2007

Business in the front... Party in the back!


It's an assault on my taste every time go to the grocery store. Who
would have thought that people would actually think mullets are cool
and or fashionable. I guess it isn't that bad when people choose to
have a mullet, but the worst is when kids have mullets. WHY OH DEAR
MOTHER OF MOSES WHY!!!! Why must the toothless redneck hillbillies
force the evil mullets on their children! Please make it stop. I don't
think that Miss America contestants should wish for peace I think that they should wish for haircuts and dentures for all the rednecks!

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

Mr. O

Friday, June 29, 2007

Black Snake Porn Moan

Wow that was an interesting movie. Who would have thought Christina Ricci could go from Casper the friendly ghost to sluty whore in such a short time.... Ummmmmm


Monday, June 25, 2007

Driving the big porcelain bus

Spent a relaxing Sunday studying for a Human Anatomy class..... Thought I would take a break and make some chicken wings. I COOKED THEM ENOUGH!!!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Man I feel like a weirdo

I know this is for school but I still feel odd.... I want to study for my anatomy lab while I at work so I bring my pictures to memorize the labels. Well I guess it's just weird carrying around pictures of dead people's reproductive organs.... They ask, "hey Mr. O what you got there?" "Oh it's pictures of a cadaver's schlong, oh and don't forget the pictures of the dead girls bits too"..... Sigh I'm such a weirdo!

Mr. O

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Where's Noah when you need him?

My mom sent me this video of flooding happening back in my home town and I thought it would be fun to post..... Kinda Scary!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Ewwwwwwww


Last night I was putting my stuff in the car and getting ready to head to work and I threw up.... Well lets say I threw up really hard and that my medication tastes really bad coming back out. Well sometimes when I puke I get little red dots all over my face, which make me look worse than I really feel, but last night they were really bad, so I got the little woman to take a picture of them. I hope they go away before I have to go out in public.

Mr. O

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Get all up in my Grill


I asked my mom to get us a BBQ for Christmas and she agreed!!! She thought that we should get it now so it can be useful during the summer. So today the little woman and I went to Wal-Mart and bought a grill.

Now by the end of the day I have assembled the grill, and cooked dinner on it. SWEET!!!

Saturday, June 9, 2007

We have contact!

Today in my photography class we made our first Contact Sheets. SWEET!!!! I worked really fast and I was able to do a sheet for my first and second assisgment..... ALAS MY FIRST ASSIGNEMT DIDN'T TURN OUT. DAMN IT GREAT! So this week I have to reshoot the first assignment while working on the third assignment.

Hmmmmm what will I take pictures of? OH I KNOW, naked pictures of my wife pictures of trees, and mountains.

*Note to Self: Go Find Wife* RAR!

Mr. O

Finally a sigh of relief

I finished my test and I don't think I did that bad..... I guess I will have to wait until I get the test back to know for sure, but why worry about something I can't change.


Mr. O

Friday, June 8, 2007

OH SHIT SUPER

I have my first test in human anatomy and I am cramming before the test and I feel like I know nothing..... I AM SUCH A MORON prepared and going to do well

I AM SO EXCITED

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Saturday, June 2, 2007

New Development

This semester I am taking a light course load because I am taking a Human Anatomy class which is a very difficult class. Well I need to complete a couple of fine arts classes for general ed so I am also taking a photography class. I thought it would be fun, low stress, and it's kinda my hobby.

So today in class we bring our first roll of film for our first assignment and we learned how to develop the film. The instructor gives a demonstaration on how to load the film into the Developing tank, and it ddoesn't seem very difficult. Well it seems easy until she tells us that we have to complete the process in complete darkness... WHAT!!! In a small dark closet I will prepare my film.Let me tell yah this is one of the few situation where I will be in the closet with another man. We have a large class and two to a closet is faster.

It went well and the films seems to have turned out well but I won't really know until we make the pictures next week. I'M SO EXCITED!!!!

Mr.O

Friday, June 1, 2007

Keys go outside!

I got very little sleep last night so I was way tired when I went to work, but I'm a trooper so off to work I go. Well I am at my desk working away and realize I forgot my water bottle in the car, which is esencial when I am talking on the phone all night. I step away from my desk and run down to the car the get my bottle. Remember I am extremely sleepy..... *Unlocks Car and kneels on the driver's seat to find my bottle* WOO HOO THERE IT IS *I shut the car door* Hey what's on my car seat? OH it's my keys *tries the handle and it won't open* SHIT Super, FUCK Fun... I hang my head and go back to my desk in shame. I think maybe I can break in with a coat hanger, but there is no coat hanger to be found... Well that isn't totally true, there are wooden coat hangers that are permenently attached to the closet.

*Sitting at my desk reveling in my stupidity* People keep asking me what's wrong, I tell them, and feel extremely stupid. Well finally one of my coworkers offers to drive me home at lunch and then bring me back... WOO HOO the Peruvian Midgit saves the day!

Lunch time rolls around and climb into her clown car and head home. I head into the back yard to find the spare key, WHAT A WONDERFUL TIME FOR THE SPRINKLERS TO BE ON..... especially because the hidden house key sits below one of the sprinkler heads. *sigh*

I get the keys, head back to work and all is well....

NOTE TO SELF: Got to Wal-Mart and get extra keys cut for the car... One will go at work, my backpack, and maybe one of those magnetic boxes under my car.

*Yawn* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Mr.O

Monday, May 28, 2007

Fencing

I know it would make me feel cool to say that I actually fence, you
know with swords!!! Alas I am speaking of the building of a fence.
When we moved into our new house we knew that we would have to replace
the fence at some point in time. Well a time came when our
cardboard old fence would not withstand the elements, vicious
dogs next door, or my new circular saw..... MUA HAHAHA!!! We finally
finished fixing our fence today and boy are we glad. Even though the
evil dogs moved away we are still glad to have a beautiful new fence
that will keep our dogs safe in our yard.

I know that projects in our new house will never end, because there
will always be something that we will want to make our own. However
it's nice to come to the end of one of the major projects....

Well now that the long weekend is over I need another weekend *YAWN*

Mr.O

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

She keeps going and going

No I'm not refering to the energizer bunny's girl friend. Well I guess she could be! Ok this girl in my Human Anatomy Class will not shut up. She asks questions that have nothing to do with anything, keeps asking the same question after the professor tells her he will cover that in a moment, etc..... SHE IS SOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING! It's not like I am the only one who thinks so... When she starts to talk people in the start start to roll their eyes, giggle about her, etc. I understand that you want to learn the most you can but think before you speak, and forget the issue when the instructor tells you to wait. Anyway I need to ignore her I guess, because I want to strangle her sometimes. Oooooooh our first lab is tomorrow, maybe she will voulenteer to be a cadaver.

Mr. O

Monday, May 14, 2007

All hail the Neanderthal!

After acquiring provisions for my classes I thought I would browse the
variety of Discounted goods displayed at the University Bookstore
sidewalk sale. While looking through the hoodies, sweatshirts, shorts,
etc. I heard one of the local campus animals. These animals are found
throughout campus and they are easy to spot because they are EXTREMELY
LOUD!!! The animal I am making reference too is the Neanderthal.
Normally these animals are young males from 18-25 who thing they are
the coolest thing every. For survival they require a cell phone, a
wide variety of t-shirts with strange slogans that make no sense, and
baggy shorts that hang off their ass, which I assume is a way to
attract their female counterparts, the plastics.

These animals are only smart enough to speak a language that slightly
compares to the English language. This was demonstrated in the
following Cell phone conversation I overheard:

Neanderthal - Dude stats is wack yo...
Yea to blows DUDE!
Jus chilin' dude! checkn out the shorts
Cha the shorts are chill dude
Com on dude..... DUDE!!!!!!!!


Wow I think these Neanderthals are contagious because i felt my IQ
decrease just by hearing that conversation. They scary thing is some
of them have figured out how to register for classes.....


Mr. O

Back to the land of education

Today was my first day back at school and boy was it exciting. I sat
there staring at the Anatomy teacher while he explained the class, and
I understood every word he was saying. Well when he started to give
some examples of what we would be learning.... It was like the teacher
in Charlie Brown. "Wah wah wah wah, wo wah wah wooo." *Raises hand*
"Can you repeat that?" "Wah wah wah," says the teacher. Well I am
sure I will figure out what he is saying sooner or later.

Mr. O

Ps. Next week I will say as Haley Joel Osment did, "I SEE DEAD PEOPLE."

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Racheal Ray Sux

I have to say that I love to watch Rachael Ray's shows, and I love her
recipes... Well after watching her E True Hollywood Story I thought I
would
look up the Rachael Ray
Sucks
website. Well let me say that she annoys me sometimes
and I don't like all of her shows (ie. Tasty Travels). I think it's
stupid that someone would watch all of her shows and read everything
about her so they could post about it all day long. I find it amusing
that some fat woman with bad taste in clothes could go on E and talk
about how annoying she is. Remember I don't like her all the time, but
I don't like lots of celebrities but I don't go on and on about it.

Maybe it's the posters of Rachael Ray Sucks not Rachael Ray that is a "Raytard."

Mr. O


Edited to say:
Misty Lane.... What kind of name is that!?!?! It sounds like the road Bordello is on, 6969 Misty Lane.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Good Ridence

The little woman and I have been out doing yard work and other things and we saw something exciting.... "THE NEIGHBOURS ARE MOVING OUT!!!" Well they are moving furnitre into vans and trailers, so we just assume they are moving. I hope so because that means they will take their EVIL fun dogs with them.

I can only hope that in the morning they will be gone.

Mr. O

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

BYE!!! WE WON'T MISS YOU

So we found out that our wonderful neighbours are moving.... and by wonderful I mean the neighbours who have 5 vicious dogs that constantly knock boards off our fence and try to get into our yard to kill our dogs. Oh wait Im sorry they only have 3 dogs now because the biggest meanest evilest dog killed one of their other dogs so they had to put him down. BURN IN HELL I'll Miss you Odie!

Well I guess it doesn't matter anyway because we are replacing the fence. Well I guess we aren't replacing the fence but we are putting a new fence over the existing fence. The new fence will be nice, sturdy, and look awesome on aour side and the house next door will have a nasty ass fence that is made out of cardboard old wood.

Hopefully it doesn't rain too much this weekend so we will be able to finish the fence.

Mr O.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Evils of the World

This is my new series of posts where I will comment of the things of the world that I think are evil.

Evil of the World #1

Wallpaper!!!!
I love my little house and I know that we were lucky finding it but I have to say that I hate the people who decorated this house before we moved in. My wife and I joke that if a house could talk that ours would say, "THANK YOU.... THANK YOU!!!"

Well we are painting yet another room and it has a wonderful race car wallpaper boarder which didn't seem that bad when we started painting. I painted primer over the wallpaper and planned to use textured paint which would cover the paper. Well I went back after putting a couple coats of primer and I could peel the primer right off.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Takes a deep breath*

After hours of peeling and repriming it is ready to go!!! Woo Hoo

The trim is all white and tomorrow the little woman and I will paint the wall with the light yellow textured paint.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

'ALLO 'ARRY

The little woman and I were taking a break from the remodeling and we started to watch Harry Potter on TV. Well I looked online and found this quiz because I was curious which house I belong in.

I am a Hufflepuff


Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?




My indepth results were as follows:

Hufflepuff - 13
Ravenclaw - 12
Gryffindor - 8
Slytherin - 8

The House of Hufflepuff. Founded by Helga Hufflepuff, members of this house are hardworking, loyal, and honest.

Mr. O

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Sick

I've got a chest cold and it sucks sooooo bad. I'm coughing up crap and I feel like I've been hit by a bus, and I have a fever. I feel better today then I did yesterday though which is good. I Work nights so I normally sleep during the day so yesterday I slept all day and then I stayed home from work and slept all night. Today I slept all day again and I will probably sleep all night. I exiled myself from the bedroom because I am tossing and turning a lot which is keeping the little woman awake. Now I thought I would catch up on the blog and make something to eat... I am sure I will fall asleep soon because I took a painkiller and a muscle relaxer for my migraine; and pill to make me fight the urge to vomit. I feel like I am getting better but I am sure it will take a while to totally get over it

Mr. O

Weight Loss

Things have been going well since I started my diet. I have lost 15 pounds!!! I hear that this may partially related to losing water weight but I don't care it's motivating!!!!

Mr. O

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Setting a goal weight

How do you know what your goal weight should be?

Many people use the BMI to determine a healthy goal weight.BMI only seems to be logical for some people. If you weigh yourself and take your body fat percentage this will help.

Kills me to say this but my current weight is 345lbs and body fat percentage is 39.5%, which means my lean body mass is 60.5%. My lean body mass would be my muscle and bone and that would be how much I would weigh without any fat (345x60.5% = 209lbs). When I use the BMI to figure out my ideal weight it said I should be 205lbs which would put me at an extremely unhealthy weight. The BMI isn't always a good method to set a goal weight.

To set a goal weight I used a body fat percentage that is healthy. A percentage in the athletic range is what I chose 12%, and used the following calculation to determine my goal weight:

current weight x 12% = target fat + Lean body mass = goal weight

345 lbs x 12% = 41 lbs of fat

209 lbs lean body mass + 41 lbs = 250 lbs

250 lbs is a more reasonable weight for me to set as a goal. I found all this information at the following website:

Understanding Your Body Fat Percentage

Sunday, January 28, 2007

I will win

So I steped on the scale today and saw the following:



Well I went to the fitness center and figured out that my weight is 345lbs, my body fat is 39.2%, and my BMI is 42. So I am setting a goal to be healthy!!!

Mr. O (aka Fatty)

Monday, January 22, 2007

So I have been having stomach problems and I've decided to stop drinking soda... Well I might drink it some but I am trying to drink herbal tea now. I did some research and found some teas that are supposed to help with my stomach problems.

Licorice

Licorice assists the healing of stomach ulcers by spreading a protective gel lining over the stomach wall, lowering acid levels, as well as easing painful spasms. Another report showed that the size of ulcers could be reduced 70- 90% in size in one month, and healing had occurred in patients who were not confined to bed, many even able to carry on working during treatment.


Chamomile
Edgar Cayce recommended chamomile as a tea to settle the stomach and work with the mucous membranes of the intestinal tract.


Peppermint
peppermint does positively affect the stomach tract and digestive process thanks to its menthol. Peppermint is regularly employed to treat digestive problems


So hopefully this will help.

Mr. O

Sunday, January 21, 2007

MOOOOOOOO!

MAN I AM SO FAT!!! Well hopefully I will pull my head out of my ass
long enough to do something about it

Mr. O

Tired or drunk?

OK so most people have seen Paula Abdul's recent interview on TV where she was all twitchy, slurred speech, and answered questions with very odd answers. Well her people said that she was tired and was at the end of lots of appearances. Well I know what it's like to be tired... I nod off or seem really sleepy. I guess when Paula is sleepy she looks drunk. GO PAULA GO!!!

Mr. O

Friday, January 19, 2007

The puking continues...

OK so I have been sick for several more days but I am feeling better as a whole. A few different medications to help me be less nauseous etc etc... Well I still feel crappy in general but I have to just deal with it, WHAT A WUSS!!! Maybe if I puke before work I will feel better. Sigh! I am sure I am getting better but I still feel icky. I have an appointment at the doctor on Sunday so I will let her know I went to the ER and I'm feeling a bit better.

Mr. O

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Puking sucks

OK I have been having problems with my stomach. I have a Peptic Ulcer. So last night I threw up not to long before I went to work, which seems to happen every once and a while. Well this time I was throwing up blood so we thought we should go to the Doctor. Urgent Care was about to close so they told me to go to the ER. DAMN IT!!! Well we went there and after like 4 hours I had an IV where they took a bunch of blood and they stuck a tube into my stomach through my nose. They say "when it hits the back of your throat start swallowing. So as they shove it in I start to throw up again... WOO HOO. They pump water into my stomach and then pull it out to make sure there is no blood (which there wasn't). So it means that I just puked hard enough for my esophagus to rip a bit (hence the blood). They gave me meds to stop puking and sent me home.... Man I feel like crap. At least I feel better now then I did last night.

Mr. O

Thursday, January 11, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday to Oquirrh Mountain Man.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Another year older. I AM SO OLD NOW!!!

For my good ol' B-day I went out to dinner with the little woman. What a wonderful woman, she went out to dinner eventhough the roads were horrible with all the snow. After I filled my belly with chineese food we went home and I sat down with a piece of birthday cheesecake and watched a movie (and by watch I mean I fell asleep). Lets just say I love Redbox.

For my birthday I got many wonderful things... WOO HOO PRESENTS!!! Some of these I got early because like me the little woman can't keep presents a secret. MUA HAHAHAHA. She got me some personalized Jones Soda, which is super cool because it had a picture of us on it and there was a special message on the back. Awwwww She is a sweety. She also got me a shirt, belt, candy, pants (NOT JUST ANY PANTS!!! Fuzzy pants... they are fleece of something but they are big and comfy Mmmmmmm). She also got me the 2nd Post Secret book. For those of you who don't know Post Secret you must check it out (Updates every Sunday).

Another wonderful B-Day!!!!

Mr. O

Ps - I turned 24

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Super Chemistry Man



So I had my first organic chemistry class and it was great... It will be hard but I am excited because I love chemistry, and so does the teacher. He almost gets giddy when he is talking about it. From hence forth Ilya will be know as Super Chemistry Man

Monday, January 8, 2007

LOOK MA IM A SCHOLAR!!!

So today is the first day of classes for the spring semester and I am
very excited, and by excited I mean concerned that if I have any
homework on the first day i might fling my self off the roof of the
highest building on campus (well not really but that would be amusing
to see). As I assumed I don't have my Genetics Lab period because it
is only the first day of classes, so I am left to blog with my 2 hour
break. *Note to self: Bring pillow to sleep in the lounge at the
student union building between classes.*

Well my first class was Principles of public speaking which doesn't
sound that interesting but I am sure it has some practical application
(I hope). Nonetheless it is a required class and I will take it and
love it so much that I won't be able to stand it. All the classes last
semester had little or no relevance what so ever, but again they were
required so i took them. The first prof was nice although she seemed
a little too enthusiastic at 7:30 am for a normal person *sigh*. She
introduces herself, and tells us to call her by her first name which I
appreciated seeing I couldn't pronounce her last name to save my life.
She went over her extremely detailed syllabus and told us what she
expects of us. Something interesting is she kept referring to us as a
community. o.0 ummmm what are you talking about lady!?!?! Not only
that, she also told us that by the end of the semester she wants us to
love each other.... YES LOVE EACH OTHER.... Love your community she
says. Hmmmmm i will work on that!

Anyway i need to find some sustenance because I am starving!

Mr. O

PS. I am sorry for eating all the Doritos. I LOVE YOU !!!

Saturday, January 6, 2007

Debbie Travis would just die!

Im not sure if you even know who Debbie Travis is, but she hosts a show called Debbie Travis' Painted House. When the little woman and I moved into our new house we had the vision. We can see our things there, our paint colors, etc etc etc.... Well we finally got to the point where we wanted to paint the guestroom, aka the green room. I don't mean light green I mean really really really dark green, which is bad because the room is on the small side. Oh and I can't forget to mention that they also painted inside the closet!!! Well so we have this small room with dark walls, and I forgot to mention the carpet is also green, but this isn't the worst part. There is this large wallpaper mural on the wall. Trees and a stream and a nice blue sky with fluffy clouds. It's pretty.... IF YOU LIVE IN THE DAMN FOREST!!!! Well with a little elbow greese the wall paper came off and with 5 or 6 coats of primer we may be able to cover the green and change to a normal color.

My wife is sleeping in (which she deserves seeing she has trouble sleeping) and my plan is to finish the rest of the primer before she wakes up. Maybe she will reward me for my manly services!!! NO YOU PERVERT NOT WITH THAT... Well maybe that too but I want to go to IHOP! Mmmmmmm pancakes. Well I better get back to work. Wish me luck!

Mr. O

Runners with a death wish!

OK I think it is great that people want to get in shape and all but I
don't understand this. I was driving home from work the other morning
and almost killed a jogger (actually 3 joggers to be exact). OK I have
to say a few things in my defence. Me coming home from work is at 6:30
am because I work night shift, and it had snowed like a foot of snow.

Picture this me driving along excited to go home and relax after a
long day and there are 3 joggers, in a foot of snow, wearing ALL BLACK
(WTF), it's pitch dark, and they are running on the road (with a nice
big sidewalk near by!!!). To top it all off they were running side by
side, and this road had no shoulder or curb at all. WHY WOULD YOU DO
THAT I MEAN COME ON!!!!!!

I know your New Years resolution is important and all but wear
something reflective, jog on the sidewalk, OR GET A DAMN
TREADMILL!!!!!!!!

So if you are watching the news and hear about a crazy neurotic man
who killed several joggers in dressed in black, it's probably me.

Mr. O

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

SO WHAT I'M JUST KNIFTY

As I said in my bio I am creative. I like to do crafty things, scrapbook, crochet, etc... Well I have taken up the Knift Knitter, which is a knitting loom. It's fun! So I have taken it to work and I am having fun making hats, scarves, etc. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT!

Many other men crochet and knit. It's relaxing

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Only the first day!

It was a great start to the New Year!!! Well all of it but the
puking... Now I wish I could say it was because I drank soooooo much
and I was hung over., but its worse. I have had ulcer problems in the
past and I think they must be back. I am frequently nausea, vomit, etc
etc etc. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!! I printed out a list of
Doctors that are in the area so I can find a family doctor and go talk
to him/her about it. They won't make it worse I'm sure. If you have
any tips let me know.... PLEASE!!!

Well its almost time for me to wake up the little woman (I work nights
so when I'm home I am up while she goes to bed) so I should go.

Mr. O

Happy New Year!!!

OK so it has been a great year..... Celebrated our first anniversary (me and the little woman), moved into a new house, school of course (not super excited for the next semester to start, and many other wonderful things. I don't know how much my wife reads my blog but I think I will say this about the year: A wonderful 365 days with the most wonderful woman in the world! Not trying to make her blush but I think she is funny, exciting, pretty, and the best person to spend time with *hands out vomit bags to the innocent by standards*. Sorry for all the sap but it needs to be said. Well this year should be a great one as long as I am with those I love!

Mr. O