Sunday, June 13, 2010

From a "Solid Christian"

The church of the flying spaghetti monster posts amusing hate mail on their website, and this one gave me a good laugh:

"The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion. Bullshit, a bowl of fucking food created you? It doesn’t even have a fucking brain! Ha ha. I can’t believe how much you are offending me, and many others. Especially your FSM "Bible". Why did you have to make fun of my religion, and others? You called the Christian bible The New Testicle. Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Also, you called the Hindu’s book, "Ten Little Indians". Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. I can’t believe you are a racist bastard. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Also, in your queer FSM "Bible", you obiously had to make fun of the Jews. I’m very offended, because the Jews had probably had the roughest life, and you go ahead and make fun of the REAL Bible, not your bullshit bible!!! Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers, and beer is nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very racist, and I hope that you burn in Hell and realize your FSM is just your imagination, and you’re full of bullshit. Also, I feel like sueing the publishers of your FSM Bible, since you have gone that far and turned racist.

Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being a RACIST FUCKING DOUCHEBAG! AND YOU CALL YOUR RELIGION "PEACEFUL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you,
Mike"


Dear Solid Christian,

I would like to thank you for your hate mail that points out how awful this religion is for pointing out how awful it thinks yours is. Well come to think about it I don't think it's really mocking with as much class as you have. I propose that the FSM reach down his noodlie appendage and throw a fuck or two into his holy writings.

I am also impressed that you have the ability to see what doesn't have a brain, which i assume is helpful each time you look in the mirror.

Now I'm not a bible scholar but I don't think Jesus' philosophy of "love one another" included calling someone a douche bag. When I ask myself WWJD I don't think he would send hate mail like that.

Mike if you ever venture out of your mom's basement make sure to wear sunscreen because I don't think you get out into the sun very often.

Love,

Mr. O



1 comment:

Ryan Hollist said...

As I often say, extremists just have no sense of irony.